June 2012

This June we celebrated Quag's 40th birthday, Dad's 66th, and Rick's 62. I remember celebrating my Dad's  40th, on our deck in Lake Bonavista. Chet's Bermuda shorts, parrot ties and Sun Ice were the coolest things ever. I remember everyone celebrating late into the night and early into the morning. 40 was old. And here we are now, with 2 toddlers at 40! Yikes! Make me wonder what will happen when our kids are adults and we are seniors. Now I feel that we have a lot of time as adults to spend time with our parents, for them to watch us grow, get careers, get married, buy houses and have kids. They have met their grand-kids, played important roles in their lives, and have made a lasting impression. With us being older, will we be able to have those opportunities? Lets say Frankie decides to get married at 25, Quag will be 62. SIXTY-TWO! Still relatively young, but so is getting married at 25. It makes me wonder if we will get the opportunity to see our own grand-kids into their teens. Makes me wonder if we will be able to see our own kids reach maturity and reach life's milestones like falling in love, getting, married, buying houses and having kids.

Frankie said to Quag the other day, "Dad, when I grow up I want to marry you." Sweetness! I just hope we will be around to see who her version of her dad is.........
I know it is a morose subject, but one that I think about often. When I see the way Charley clumsily brushes the hair out of her eyes, it makes me think of when she is teenager and her fingers will endlessly comb and twist and flick her locks with precision and expertise.
I watch how Frankie 'pretend' reads the paper with her dad and it makes me think of the day she vehemently argues her leftest idealistic views that the world can better itself with Love and Recycling over the dinner table.
I watch them both run outdoors and grab the first 'vehicle' that they see to ride around on and I wonder if we will be smart enough to teach them how to change a wiper blade, check for an oil leak or determine the state of their own fluids.
I am sure it a wish for every parent-to see their own kids grown and start a family of their own. Some days when you seem so old to yourself and your kids seem so young, it is hard to grasp how quickly it really does go.
Happy 40th Birthday Quag, here to 40 more......hopefully!

Trying day

Its been a trying day. I am sad, I have been trying not to take it out on the girls. I realized as I was trying to put Charley down for a nap (the first time) that I like that quiet time we have together. It makes me sad that Frankie is upstairs watching tv while I rock and sing and read to my baby, but I really love that quiet time we have. When I finally did get her to sleep (an hour after trying the first time) I looked at her peaceful sleeping face, watched her fingers twitch, kissed her sweet forehead and realized that even though I get mad that we didn't train her to go to sleep on her own, that I am not missing one minute of getting my baby to sleep. It is irreplaceable. It is only for a short time. One day she will tell me to get out of her room and not come back in. One day she will tell me that I don't need to go down to kiss her goodnight-she is ok without me. One day she will lock her door to all things mom, so for now I will rock her with love.